Cats (2019)

You must never open them though. Otherwise you will never see your cat the same way again.

There is a wall in my house. The wall is a simple wall, eight feet tall, and fifteen feet wide, it sits in a corner in the basement. It has been painted beige, with a few coats to cover up the bumps and scratches from coats before. It's got it's idiosyncrasies, the way the light jumps off the paint, the not so even drywalling underneath. Stare at it long enough, and it begins to speak to you - or at least allow you to speak to it. Maybe there's something to the wall - or maybe it's just my romantic illusions of inspiration and contemplation that bring life to it. My point is this - staring at that blank wall for two hours is far more inspiring, interesting and enlightening than watching even just two minutes of the cinematic colonoscopy that is "Cats." A film so awful, so ridiculous and so void of substance its very existence is an affront to musicals, film and theatre. Unless you're a fan of 'so bad it's good' cinema, stay away. This is a watershed moment in bad movie history.

Sorry to pile on, but in my 55 years I have never walked out of a movie until now. We had high hopes, we love musicals, but good lord, this was awful on every level.

The most entertaining part of this entire movie was reading these hilariously bad reviews. It was SO boring and hard to watch.

I used to be a wholeheartedly christain mother. I then watched this movie and became an atheist. No loving god would put us on a planet with the likes of this.

Honestly I wish I was joking. Just everything was completely terrible. James Corden was cripplingly awful but that's nothing particularly surprising. Leaving the cinema I'd felt as if my soul had been sucked dry. Avoid at all cost.

In 25 years this film will have a weird cult following, and an aged James Franco will make a "meta" film about it. Until then, it will remain universally regarded as an utter shambles.

I'm not a praying man, but I was praying so hard for this movie to end. From the fist minute, I knew this movie was going to be a disaster. What a waste of talented actors.

I...it just...I can't....I...I got nothing.

Theatre is theatre for a reason.

My body and soul was not ready for what I just witnessed.

This film is truely a masterpeice in unintentional horror. The effects are so special I'm going to have nightmares for weeks to come. Why they didn't just dress the actors in costumes and makeup I have no idea, either the filmmakers are lazy or someone wanted to push the boundries of visual effects. Cats pushes those effects right off a cliff into the uncanny valley. The design and look is freakin disgusting.

I never saw the stage musical, so I didn't know what I was in for. This movie that has no plot, it's just a bunch of random cats introducing themselves. I tried to enjoy it as a so-bad-it's-good cringefest, but the lack of plot and the terrible effects make it impossible.

If you can't even look at the screen without feeling annoyed & disgusted, it's impossible to enjoy it in anyway.

Thanks Tom Hooper.

This is what Dante saw in one of his dreams. also this is traumatizing for children so if you are 22 or older go watch it.